holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
