i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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