..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
