bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
