now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
