he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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