Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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