So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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