Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
