Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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