He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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