You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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