Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
