I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
