By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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