he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you mean i was at the winter classic?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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