Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
