like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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