Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
