Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
