I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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