Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
