She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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