where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
