i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
