garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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