Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
