white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
