Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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