he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
