I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
