I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
