bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize