I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
