just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
