Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
