So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize