She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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