Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I could fuck to npr.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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