so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
