dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
