i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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