new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
