Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You smell like stripper and shame
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
