can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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