I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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