I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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