I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
