respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
