WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
