THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
