I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
