it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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