i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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