My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize