there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
sarcasm needs its own font
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
