I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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