Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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