ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
