i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
