i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize