I just made out with a guy for $7.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
