Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
