Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
