have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
